Thursday, October 31, 2002

I LOVE a bargain. Went shopping today in Bluewater, this massive mall. How's about I buy 5 tops for 25 pounds?? When (this is the brilliant part) one of those tops alone normally costed 20 quid!! It was a buy one get one free sae, which normally means loads of crap, but these are sooooo nice! BARGAIN BABY!! I'm so excited!

The occasion is the Halloween party we're havinig at our house tonight. I'm so paranoid, I'm envisioning no-one showing up, and us here alone and pathetic... but leme try and be positive. It's just that shopping was so great, I wonder how long the greatness will last. We'll see.

I'm gonna be disco chick bitch tonight. Look out, I says!


posted by Tanisha Cross at 9:52 PM Comments []

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Funny how things can be said to mean one thing, but actually come out as somethinig completely different. Beware of words, my people. Words can make or break, create or destroy.

Meanwhile, I have a very unfond memory of Spain which took place about a year ago now. It actually has nothing to do with words, more like the lack thereof. I had finally found a place to live after about two weeks of homelessness, finally gotten some money so I could buy some clothes other than the tired ones I had and was starting to really like the place. (Beware, offensive terminology begins now) But some raggedy-ass motherfu**er had to bloody well screw up the whole fu**ing rotation! The rassc**t sonfabitch stole my wallet! The co?azo decided he had to take MY frigging money, wallet, pictures (some of childhood friends from Switzerland who I'll probably never see again), credit cards, ID, mmy driving licence... Jilipoyas! Putamadre! Screw the puta que te pari?!!! (Spanglish is my favourite language)

Ah.. feels good to let go.

Anyhow, my American friend suffered a similar fate at the hands of a gypsy woman later on, and wrote a poem. It's kinda long, but bear with me.

A Gypsy Bitch Took My Shit

A Gypsy Bitch
Took my shit
And left me out
to dry
I don't know why
She thought
this Black Chick
had a nice slice
of the American
pie A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
And I don't know why Didn't she see
that twinkle
in my eye?

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
Not knowing
That I was
On a mission
But I must
admit
she caught me
up a bit
Had me fired up
like a piston

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
could it be she
needed it more
than me
but I keep askinig
why my shit
what could the
purpose be

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
but I'm not letting her
take my soul
as much as I
like my shit
it's not in control

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
not realizing
it would make
her even more poor
Due to the lack of integrity
she possesses
less for her is
in store

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
trying to be
the straw
that broke
the camel's back
But why should
I worry when
I am plentiful
and she is Ms. Lucy Lack

A Gypsy Bitch
took my shit
so you better
watch yours
Less and less she'll have
But the poor bitch
won't get it
and will keep
stealing more.

- by DaVatrice [prononced Davaytrice] - and she says her name's NOT ghetto, ok?


posted by Tanisha Cross at 6:17 PM Comments []

Thursday, October 24, 2002

My body no longer can tell the difference between night and day. I've been out almost every single night since last Thursday. Now I can't sleep at night, and when I do finally fall asleep, I wake up every half an hour.

Am I gonna stop? Hell no, this is too much fun! I'm not overdoing anything, I'm just thoroughly enjoying my final year. And making the most of not yet having exams, cuz Lord knows I'll become a hermit then.

I'm contemplating moving to Spain when I graduate and work/do my masters. I love that country. There's only one thing that can make me move back to home side of the world. We'll just thave to see what happens...

*The Princess rests up for yet another weekend of having a blast*

posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:33 PM Comments []

Monday, October 21, 2002

It is 5.30am and I have finished. I would be worried/pissed off that I'm still up at this hour but this is my best essay/assignment production time. The real work started around 3.30, after I made that important don't-go-to-bed-angry phone call. I think that's what set the wheels turning.

And off to bed I go before daylight breaks to the sounds of 'I've been wrong, I've been down, and to the bottom of every bottle...' etc etc.

This is how you remind me of what I really am...

Love life.

Be random.

Don't ask, it's 5.35am.


posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:35 AM Comments []

It's one-o-ra**hole-clock in the bloodcl*t morning and I have to hand in my ana-freakin-lytic notes tomorrow by noon. How far have I gotten? Let's see - I've almost completed one set, and the other I have yet to begin. What the hell am I doing?

Let me tell you what I'm doing. I'm waiting to the last minute, wasing time, going out with friends (just because they're visiting from Spain for a few days), spending the whole night eating Spanish food, drinking Spanish wine, and singing Spanish songs. And when I'm not doing that, I'm allowing myself to be miserable. WTF. Apparently my priorities have lost themselves, cuz seems I have NONE.

And I'm really annoyed. So very annoyed.

*The Princess will divert her ranting energies into anthropological feminism*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:06 AM Comments []

Saturday, October 19, 2002

Oh what a night

I had such a BLAST tonight! Liming with the girls, with champagne and Lenny Kravitz (yummy), then house party , with food, then clubbing all night long, just us girls, then back to the house party to round it all off, then chocolate on the way home... I am feeling fairly satisfied. Not to mention completely tired and sightly hung over. Which is strange, cuz I've only ever been hung over once in my life. When I went a titch overboard on the ole Spanish wine.

Anyway. Here's to girlie nights! Vive la nuit des filles!

*Oh my aching feet*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 2:58 AM Comments []

Friday, October 18, 2002

The presentation went well. I'm so glad that one is over, but, oh, wait there's another assignment due monday morning. Great. So much for sleeping in.

Last night was nice too. Talent is: a blind old man able to sit down and play jazz guitar all night; an old man who can hardly speak nor walk who can sing the blues. It was amazing. The meditation class before was great too. Just what I needed, to let go and relax for a few minutes. Of course it didn't last, but that's why there are more classes...

Tomorrow 3 of our Spansh friends are coming to visit, which should be nice. They don't speak a word of English tho, so it should be funny.

*The Princess fightst on*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:32 AM Comments []

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

5 chapters and half a box of Frosted Shreddies later, I've lost my focus and will have to call it a night. A very productive one, but still not enough for that presentation on Thursday. I just can't read another word about development and the helplessness of the natives in the face of capitalism, passionate as I may feel about it.Guess I'll have to apply my BS-ing skills with whatever I have retaind from tonight. Good luck to me.


posted by Tanisha Cross at 11:58 PM Comments []

How did I manage to arrive late for my 4pm class, my first and only Monday class?

I will stop procrastinating and being lazy. One day.

*The Princess goes right back to bed to do it all over again*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:22 AM Comments []

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Get a grip!

Yesterday, some dude near ran me over in his car, and was grinning at me so hard... Thing is he drove purposely into the court I was walking in, only to reverse and go the other way. Did he want me to see he has a car? Yay, have a biscuit. I was doing my laundry and was dressed in a hoody and baggy-ass track pants (they were my dad's but I stole them) and couldn't have been looking any less sexy, so tell me why he would want to follow me walking back to my house, lugging a huge bag of wet clothes (the dryer broke down on me) and ask me for my phone number??? And this is after running up to me to ask if I was Patricia, cuz I look like her. Who's Patricia? I was so mad. No, I can manage the bag THANX. No I won't give you my number, don't ask why, I just won't. So imagine how I near keel over when dude shows up 5 minutes later round the back of my house in his car, following me to ask for my email. Dood! Go away... Begging isn't cute on you...

I just felt nasty after that. Some men new to the place see how freely some women give it up and hence believe that we're all the same. Especially some of the black men, who have it hard to get some in their countries and think everyone is loose here. Worse, some go as far as thinking, I'm black, sh'es black, surely she wants me too. That's how it was in Spain as well. Two years ago, this man, some old Nigerian geezer was so blunt as to TELL ME that he's sick of f***ing these white chicks, he wants some black stuff now, can he have my number? Imagine! I think he had mental issues tho cuz he actually drooled spit onto the ground as he spoke. I was alone, it was getting dark, not many people were on the path and I was pissing my pants. He was actually holding my arm. I saw him the other day too, but if he look at me again, I'll.. .do something drastic....

Even today on the Catholic Society trip Bodiam Castle and Rye (which was nice), a Nigerian, who claims he saw me dancing in the club, came asking for my number. And this is after he's telling me about his overseas girlfriend, how hard it is to be alone, and his 'harsh' previous sex life which made taking the AIDS test so worrisome and all I heard was blah blah blah can't you see how good it would be if i sexed you? Dude had the audacity to tell me that he doesn't like being turned down when I told him NO. About 4 times.

Grrrrrr!

*The Princess will stop bitching about stupid men now, cuz they're not all entirely the same... she hopes*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 6:48 PM Comments []


This is that link to the whole lemon story... Couldn't get it to work before. What can I say, I'm an html dumbass.

Safe sex and a Slice?
posted by Tanisha Cross at 6:19 PM Comments []

Friday, October 11, 2002

Strange stuff on CNN...

Scientists have dicovered a new contraceptive which also kills that AIDS virus: lemon juice. Imagine!

Honey, did you bring the lemon?


posted by Tanisha Cross at 9:29 AM Comments []

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Pigs like us

My trip to town to 'get a few things' turned into an eating marathon. It was great! Ice-cream, Subway sweet onion teriyaki chicken sandwich (yum!), candy, nachos with cheese and chilli and sour cream and guacamole and peppers, hot apple pie with custard, and more candy when we went to watch 'Red Dragon'. Which is a very good film, but still can't beat 'Silence of the Lambs'. Had me terrified, but then again, I get scared easily...

Good friends and good food. That's what makes the world go 'round. We devised plans, and giggled and acted so unbelieveably childish... It was decided good food was better than sex, but we'll leave that open to discussion. Hahaha!

Went to town at 3pm, and got back to campus at 10.45. Forget the books today. And the laundry. Maybe tomorrow...
posted by Tanisha Cross at 11:24 PM Comments []

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Enlightened!

I've always felt so dumb when people talked about Pink Floyd and I never knew who they were... And now I know! In fact, I've always known them I just never knew I knew who they were....

Whatever.

Had another free meal yesterday, which was da bomb. And rugby-housemate was cooking up a storm just now which smells so fantastic, but I'm still full from that hamburger and fries I had at like 5.30. (I had a craving, and cravings must be fulfilled, much as I regret it now. I know remember why I don't like meat so much: sits like a brick in my stomach) Well, anyway, he's fine now, the foot's doing much better. And yes, he will continue with the rugby team, althought with prayers that initiation is over. Hey, at least he's not Pretty Boy who was Vaselined before the vibrator was... Never mind.

In other news, I will beat down the next dude who just can't take no for an answer. Just so happens that ask-me-for-my-number-over-and-over-dude lives at my neighbour's house, and he discovered it yesterday and tried to jump me. I mean, you just don't try and dance with people in their kitchen, I don't care if you hearing 'chunes' in your head. Get a frikkin grip. Playing he coming up behind me while I wash up. WTF? Do I know him?? Damn, negro.

More randomy, I was so revving to do my laundry, I have it all sorted, but I just never made it. Tomorrow. Not that I have a choice, only one pair of socks left, and I'm not feeling tights. I refuse to believe it's winter yet. I'm still bopping around Euro-style with a denim jacket and a scarf. And freezing my ass off by the time I get home. I just can't do the winter thing, it's too early.

I just thought I'd mention here that I love my housemates. They're wicked cool. That's what American girl says, along with stuff like Jeez Louise. Imagine!

*The Princess thinks Pink Floyd is not so wicked cool*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:21 PM Comments []

Sunday, October 06, 2002

When it rains, it pours

You know the scene: just when it can't get any worse, it does. Just when you don't think things could look any more hopeless and dark, they do.

But then one day, the light comes on.

Life is a funny thing, the way shit happens. Because you'll always find that it's good for something.

*The Princess ponders on the mysteriousness of it all*



posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:09 PM Comments []

My house is great. As I was dying from clubbing while sick, they made me sheperd's pie, which was fantastic, and tea. Then we watched movies and talked mess all night. Except for two, who had just come back from visiting London and decided they were gonna go oget drunk. They did. Well, not gross, pissing and passing out drunk, just realy giggly and funny drunk. Very entertaning.

Don't know where our other housemate is. The one who smashed his hand into a wall and I thought he was in a fight. It's a rugby thing. They were trying to push down a wall. Whch didn't work. Poor dudes. And as if his mangled hand wasn't enough, they had the actual initiation night last week, which involved cimbing Westgate (a huge stone gate, about 20/25 feet tall) butt naked in the middle of the freezing night in front of the female rugby team. And this was after they were all lined off, naked, in order of ugly - pretty, branding the prettiestt 'Pretty Boy' and shoving a turned-on vibrator up hs ass. Nice one. Well, my ill-fated housemate never quite made it up Westgate; he slipped backk down all 20 feet (they were all completely drunk, so it's not surprise) and crushed his foot. He couldn't walk, and he has what looks like a tennis ball in his ankle. Poor thing. His ma had to come for him to go to his registered doctor. I haven't seen him since. And there I was being all judgemmental... Shame on me!

Dinner-time. Someone's cooking something that smells fantastic.

*The Princess hunts for food, while still buzzing from that amazing phone call...*


posted by Tanisha Cross at 5:47 PM Comments []

Saturday, October 05, 2002

I guess a night's hard patying wasn't very good for my getting-sick-ness. Felt like death las night when I got home. The night itself was good though. Spanish sangria night, followed by the Venue. My friend from the Bahamas was DJ'ing, hence, much dub. I was satisfied. The feel-good feelings I had were kinda killed by the Fresh Off The Boat (FOB's) Africans who had just discovered cigarettes, alcohol and free punnany. And somewhere in their warped excitement they thought that's what they would get from me and my friends. 'What a pretty name' and 'teach me how to dance' are loser lines. Harmless though. It was when I caught one or the entire group of them staring at us. With beady, hungry, sex-starved eyes. There was even a point when about 4 of them were lounging on a couch right by us and wouldn't let anyone pass and disrupt their view. Yuk yuk yuk!!! I felt naked or sumthin. The place was ram-off too, so moving and dodging them wasn't easy. Imagine, dudes got offended when I said I wouldn't give them my number. It's like the new fad, get mad if you don't get number.

Anyway. Been in bed most of today, trying to recover. And thinking a whole lot. Which is a very dangerous thing for me. I finished my novel, 'Nectar in a Sieve' which was depressinng and refreshing at the same time. I wish I could think and act like that sometimes.

It takes a little time sometimes, to get your feet back on the ground.
-Amy Grant
posted by Tanisha Cross at 2:06 PM Comments []

Thursday, October 03, 2002

CANCER:
>>Thursday, October 3

As long as you are actually (and not just conveniently) content with a
setup, bueno. However, should you harbor doubts as to its efficacy or
productivity, you are strongly discouraged from stuffing these qualms
into a container and throwing it into the back of your utility closet,
and are strongly encouraged to deal with them instead.
Today's star rating: **

Today realised that the job arenas open to me (if I follow what my degree is) are not areas I want to go into. Anthropology at its best and most useful is applied anthropology, which means workiing ini the field. As in relocating to Vietnam to do a report on social structures to aid government organisations or NGO's to process with developmet plans. I would be useful, because I would have the tools to communicate with the society and see which ways are best to go through with whatever the plan is. I hate the word development, but I can always work against famine, natural disasters - you can't just traipse into certain places without taking into account taboos, religion, practices, etc and just start buliding factories and railway stations. You gotta know the people. I mean, in Indonesia people work from like 5 am and are done by 9 because of the heat of the day, so you can't hire people to work at hours after that. You can't contribute flour and wheat to a country who's main starch is rice. What would they do with it?

Well, whatever. I just really don't want to live a life where I don't have a home and move every few months. Even though I have a feeling that's how I'll end up.Can't I just teach dancing to little kids somewhere I can call home? I guess I'll have to see what happens after this year.

*The Princess contemplates her life's future*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 3:42 PM Comments []

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Cigarettes can kill

All I did was sit in the foyer of one of the colleges, in the direct fire line of people who were smoking, and I'm getting sick. Very sick. Don't even want to eat (but it's not that bad yet, I still had my microwave chinese - healthy) and I am soooo tired. I didn't even want to shop, and I actually NEED the jeans I was looking for. I just couldn't be bothere with finding the right size, trying it on...

Vagueness will drive me nuts. I like to know (yeah, so I'm nosey, and WHAT?) When I know there's something going on/bugging the person/on the mind that has to do with me, and I'm not filled in I conjure my own strange, and very often alarming, reasonings. For example. Dude working in shop where I go asking for a job says, ' erm.. well.... sorry I can't help you.' What do you MEAN I can't get the job, is there a booger in my nose? Is it cuz I have a backpack on my back, and that's just not sophisticated enough for the positions you're offering?? I mean, bare junk goes through my head. Now that I can see it on screen it just looks stupid. But I'm like that. I need to hear the logical stuff before my imagination kicks in.

And Lord help us when it's my paranoia. When my parents go out, and don't come back till late, and don't call, I'm freaking out. I can see mangled cars and smoke. Well, that started after Tanya, so I guess it's reasonable. Until it takes me over. If you don't call when you say you will, I may be in hysterics by the time I hear you. I just couldn't take it again...

Well anyway.

In other news. London housemate didn't actually get into a fight that day, he just rammed his fist int a wall. Hmmm... I don't actually think that's a better thing.

I think I'll go bed soon. I'm sneezing and my body hurts. Just great.

*and off goes the sick and unclued-in Princess*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 7:07 PM Comments []

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

My heart!! O dear me... I now spent nearly 40 POUNDS on text books. Good grief. I am so incredibly broke... and I'm spending what is now a total of 50 quid on frikkin books! They better be danmed useful.

It's all about trying to get a job now. Although I have the feeling no one will want to hire me, something about being foreign and a student who may pick up and leave at any time... Whatever. Doesn't hurt to try.

Seems like if your neck's not breaking from trying to make the money, you're breaking your neck from lack of it.

I may have to go back on that diet of bread and water like when I was in Spain. That was harsh. Makes me realise things can always be worse. *knock on wood*


posted by Tanisha Cross at 2:28 PM Comments []

No, no, the name is Jean Jaques Rousseau who spoke of the 'noble savage'. Must have the facts straight...


posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:53 AM Comments []

So I just stepped in from yet another girlie night out to find a very drunk and very bruised housemate in my kitchen. Our neighbour (we always have other people in our house) was serving him coffee. His hand was swollen, blue/green and bloody, his bowtie was ripped and he was looking a mess. Obviously got in a fight. Something to do wth rugby and walking home for 20 minutes... I don't know and I didn't stay to find out. It was the way he was asking me questions, looking me in the eye with that strange strange look... I was fairly terrified. He's a sweetheart when sober though. I guess he's not good with drunk British rugby players (although he's one himself). Hmmmm....

*sigh* Welcome back to the world of the Brits. I saw a guy get his face kicked off once in London. We were waiting in line to go to a club, and these random dudes were just walkin by in a group. Suddenly, one dude was on his own and the others just started beating up on him. we all thought they were messing around, until one broke a bottle on his head, which knocked him to the ground. Then one of them looked like he was running away, but he came charging back to kick the poor bloke in his face. If you see blood. And this is all going on 5 steps in front of me and my cousins. We literally saw face vanish and be replaced by gallons of blood... The club bouncers had to rush him into the club to protect him while they called an ambulance. It happened so fast, and no one knew what would happen. Or else fight woulda been stopped before.

That's just one of those images you wish you could forget, but stay with you always. This guy screaming and holding his head together at my feet. I felt so sick. The kinds of things one human being cann do to another. It's amazing. I've seen the most ridiculous fights started over the most ridiculous things.

Reminds me of my lecture today, when an early ethnographer was quoted as saying 'the cannibalism of savages was far better than the cannibalism of the Spanish Inquisition... It is far better to rip apart the flesh of a dead man, than to rip him apart while alive..' and so on and so forth. What was his name? Montaigne? Yeah that's it. French dude, trying to define the 'noble savage'.

Well anyway, I hope this was a one-off. He's very regretful. Looks very ashamed of himself. We'll see.

It's all good.


posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:26 AM Comments []