Friday, May 31, 2002

S W O O N S C O P E S

You guessed it, tanisha cross -- it's your daily horoscope!

CANCER:
>>Thursday, May 30

You might want to take a long walk in an effort to breathe, and balance
your desire to take action with your understanding that people have to
learn their own lessons at their own speed. As you are fully aware,
sometimes there isn't very much you can do to move them - or the process
- along.
Today's star rating: ***
Swoon Star Guide: * Negotiable ** Good *** Really Good **** Stellar


hmm....
and i was just about to go sharpen my sword.

i tried the walk. sat down in Plaza de Castilla just chilling the same day my horoscope said i would want to kill someone whos taking it way too far, just to breathe. its this place with these two towers that lean in towards each other. i was lookin at the space in between them, thinking i bet there were people just sitting watching the Twin Towers and then there appeared two planes... im sure no one thought anything of it until there was the crash. musta been freaky to watch. i was thinking all this, when out of nowhere came this helicopter, RIGHT BETWEEN THEM. i near freak out. i mean, i am in madrid, centre of ETA terrorist attacks (unaware as i am as to when and where the bombings are happening) and theres a helicopter flying at full speed straight between two towers. o my lord. well, it didnt hit or anything, but in my imagination i saw a whole sept. 11 episode right in fromt of me. i came back to Earth eventually, and noticed that the fountain in front of me was so pretty and so relaxing.....

a bit random huh?

well anyway.

went to a drag queen show and dinner with some friends last nite. it was so cool. men were HOT. damn. no wonder the place was ram off with gorgeous women dressed to kill. and there was me in boots an a camouflage skirt, and Vay in a army scarf round her head (can we say īsurvivorī?) . we kinda stood out. but i dont care, cuz all the o-so-hot men were comin to our table. its such a shame, but at the same time kinda cool that we can ogle without getting sleazed on.

im tired of getting stared at in the metro. shit. i hate being stared at for being Black. and my housemate Christina gets stared at for being blonde and blue-eyed. its the most amazing thing when its both of us together, like freakin United Colours of Benetton. we look so different, we dress different, we speak English... spaniards are fascinated by us.

anywayz. its time to eat. fruit salada i think - peaches, strawberries, cherries, apples and oranges. yum.

im out. an im gonna try REAL hard not to KILL.

*the princess has spoken*


posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:22 PM Comments []

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

So I'm squashed between about a million point 2 people on the metro this morning on my way to class. Very short Spaniards. (they so short here, i be feelin tall, and i know im not exactly tall....) Anywayz, im listening to the afore-mentioned dibby music, compliments ade's joegrind (he he ;). And 'Kill The Bitch' comes on.

Now tell me who say dem waan haggle me body?
Dem haffi have a permit and a licence fi mi....
Admit it, me say me moan and groan...

Etc etc. And then...

UUUUUHhh UUUUUUUh
uuuuh u thought i was gonna run from it?
ill never make a man beat me!
uuuuhh im like a horse jockey!
uuuhhh and i never lose!
aaaarg! and im gonna kill u wid it!
UUUU
UUUUH
AAAAAh

and well, fellow dibbers know what happence thence. and im pushed up against little school kids, old grannies, ppl in business suits... all lookin at each other kind of uncomfortably, and then at tthe black girl in the superman top (moi), and it was just SO FUNNY! i was ready to bus out laughing. it was on kinda loud, but i didnt care. it was funny as hell. i mean, i dont care if i make them slightly ansty; as soon as i step out the train ima choke on their venemous fumes (cigarettes) and everywhere in the mmetro it says ' le recordamos que est? prohibido fumar en toda la red del metro. gracias' (basically, smoking is not to be done in the metro!!) punks. soo whatts a little 'rockula- me know it arredi!' and moans an ting.

its been quite an interesting day actually. last 8.30 am class - and i showed up an 9.05. o well. whats he gonna do? ask me to try and make it on-time in the future? HAHAHAH!!! i icrack mysefl up...

yeah

anyway. came home for a siesta, cuz i iwas bloody tired, and had some lunch (the o-so-nutritious-student-staple - ramen noodles, which are called 'kung-fu' noodles here, funny, huh?) calculated that i could have a 2 or so hour nap. so im in bed all cozy an ting an i sleep incredibly well and i wake up on my own about half hour before my alarm clock. so im like, cool, leme chill for a bit i have time.... well the alarm clock doesnt go off. and when i say to myself, hey leme see what time it is, cuz its been a while... i discover that i shoulda been on my way to work 20 mins. ago. f*ck me. lol. last day teachin my girl Alba, an i late as ass. i called and told them 'o its been such a busy day, been running around, im really late, im so sorry' (what, just a little white lie...) and dash out. twas fun, just played loads of games an ting. then we took some pics so i can always remember my Alba. kadere. ill miss spain.

*msn sucks*

ryan smith! look how u gettin people in trouble!! my apologies to cus's baby mama. MY baby daddy really had no idea. dont kill cus!

and in other news...

S W O O N S C O P E S

You guessed it, tanisha cross -- it's your daily horoscope!

CANCER:
>>Tuesday, May 28

Can you say crab on a bender? Mars, the planet of aggression, moves
into your sign for the next 6 - weeks, turning your vaunted tolerance to
ashes and raising and lowering the temperature like a two-year-old
playing with a thermostat. Do the best you can to make love, not war.
Today's star rating: ***
Swoon Star Guide: * Negotiable ** Good *** Really Good **** Stellar

look out! welll the war doesnt seem to be coming anymore, cuz, well, im good! my name may be warrior, but i hate a war. frustration is a bitch too however (Reality's cousin) so who knowsn what may happpen. its definately made me a way more aggressive person. (ner, come back to me!!! :( )

the princess must now stop idling and get to her 2 15-page assignments for thursday which she hasnt yet begun. and doesnt give two flying yellow and purple hoots about.






posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:49 PM Comments []

so this is my last morning ever waking up att 6.30am to go to etnolog?a regional. like ever! yay! im late as hell tho. o well. im powerful today (hence the superman top!)

heehee

....woud u still call me superman..?
if im alive and well will lu be there holding my hand?
ill keep u by my side with my superhuman might
kryptonite??

wonder where that came from...?

think its a morning for dibby music - ahem... proceed gal! wid de top speed!! caan hold u down cuz nuff a dem a bad breed, indeed gal lookin good u a lead! fresh u body ready!!

thats more like it

off to finish breakfast
posted by Tanisha Cross at 5:47 AM Comments []

Sunday, May 26, 2002

dont u hate it when u think something may be going down, someone may be holding a grudge against u, or obviously has something on their chest that was caused by u for whatever reason and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOUR FACE?


posted by Tanisha Cross at 11:22 PM Comments []

Saturday, May 25, 2002

So yeah, I ihave yet to make this page a smidge more exciting.... Gimme some time! Damn. The demands that rest upon the princess's shoulders. I command ya'll to chill out!

Ahem...

I've been having a fairly strange week and weekend. Went to a Cuban concert on Thursday night which was just so nice. The group 'Desaf?o' was da bomb. Thing is I was so tired I couldn't dance properly. I had to keep sitting down. And it was only salsa! What's happening to me? I think I'm losing my powers. I guess it comes from being so mean to my body: I haven't had a full night's sleep for the week, I haven't been eating properly, I've been running around trying to conquer all my challenges (hey, being a warrior princess ain't easy!) with work, school, sevillanas (Spanish dancing) etc etc.

My aim was to get some sleep this weekend. But, erm, well, put it this way, I didn't do any sleeping during the actual night itself. Why not? Because am fiinding it more and more difficult to say no to any activity with friends which does not involve school work. I went out for a friend's birthday dinner at ta Mexican restaurant (it was DA BOMB! A proper meal at last...) stuffed myself till I had to roll my bloated self out the restaurant. We were with a group of people with whom I didn't connect tho. So when they wanted to go to a couple of bars afterwards, my friend vay and I were like, nuhuh, we'll check yall later.

I had all intetions of going home right then. I had about an hour until the metro closed. But we ended up sitting and talkin for way over that hour on issuses such as: 'African-American', true or false? (She herself is of so-called African-American origin), 'What would we be able to do if we could use more of the human brain?' 'Are there aliens among us?' 'Psychic readings, fact or fiction?' and 'The Power of Dreams'.

I ended up sleeping over, except that I didn't sleep - I lay in the couch while this DJ that's after her came over and continued his futile quest for piece, and her roomate came home later, completely drunk, tellin us stories of free sangria and karaoke. She then had a man over too (which one of these things is not like the others??) who also tried tot get piece, while everyone thought ti was asleep, BUT I SO WASN'T!! Grrr.... Sucky face noises in the middle of the f***ing night... Fantastic. I was well mad. By the time sucky-face dude left it was 6.15am, an I had to keep pretending I was fast asleep on the couch... I ended up leaving there at about 7.15am. With a total of about 15 minutes sleep. Got back home by 8-something am (after siitting across from this FAT-ASS nasty looking dude, who was giving me the 'I want to devour you look' (EWWW). I gave him such a look of death tho, he gave up. That was nasty. Kept staring at me the punk. The state of mind I was in , I woulda taken out his fat drunk sorry ass out in two. Punk.

So yeah, came home slept till 3pm. And I feel a sore throat coming on, which is to be expected from someone who does to their body the mean things I ido to mine. I should be more caring and loving, instead I'm just abusing myself. And the worst thing is, there is no rest on the horzion - exams are coming up, along with all 5 assignments I need to hand in within the next two weeks. I'm screwed. Bloody screwed. In fact I have a take-home exam (which is tearing me up) to hand in on Monday, which I should be working on now, which is why I shoulda come home early last night (but instead had to listen to 'slurrrrp, suck suck').

So I'll try and hold myself back from blabbing my heart out on this blogger. I'll try. But you know, one must take breaks and so on. Vent one's feelings. Chat mess which does not involve too much thinkiing.....

Ok ok, I'm going now.

*grumble grumble*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:35 PM Comments []

Testing testing...

Bloggar seems to work... ta Cus!


posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:10 PM Comments []

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

I need to get a grip. Of what I'm not sure... Reality is just a bitch with horns to gore you and I kinda want to avoid that... And then, anything other than reality will make people think I'm nuts (if they dont already) And then at some point I'll be rushed right back to that bitch with horns and she'll tear me up! So what should I do? Do whatever I want and f*** the consequences? Or should I be careful, do what's 'right' and hope that that's enough to make me happy? Or run away from what's making me unhappy (whatever the hell that is) and hope that bitch won't find me? I have no idea. Everytime I finish reading a Paulo Coelho novel I feel ready to face the world and do whatever my gut says I should, fulfill my destiny, complete my life....

But I can't. I worry too much and I care too much. Dammit. I try not to, but I can't help it. So I'm kinda stuck between 'ME', 'THEM', 'REALITY' and 'HAPPINESS'. Why can't we all just hold hands...?

This sux.

posted by Tanisha Cross at 8:12 PM Comments []

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

What's UP with blogspot that it keeps losing my page?

Very unimpressed.

The Princess will deal very severly with this issue....
posted by Tanisha Cross at 7:39 PM Comments []

Monday, May 20, 2002

Monday night going on Tuesday morning, and I need to be waking up in 6 1/2 hours for a FULL day of classes, work teaching my little girl Alba English and going out (all work an no play makes the princess very dull :)

I woke up at 6.30 am to go class for 8.30 (takes an hour on the metro, and it aint easy to move fast that early in the am!). Then I came home, went supermarket (I have REAL food!! Yay!) Found I forgot my wallet when I reach the cashier, had to dash back to the flat, run back, lug it all home, then eat, then go back to school for class, and then back home to drop everything have some semblance of a dinner, run back out to dance class, and then home to bed. Except I'm bogging... Ahem. Well I'll go bed in a sec.

In total that's 4 hours on the metro, and half an hour on the bus today. For a total of 2 classes (one was cancelled) amounting to 3 hours of class. hmm.... That's not right man.

I so tired. Cha. It's gonna be a fight in the morning as to whether I'll go or not....

*sigh* What a life.

And I don't care who I'm boring with this info cuz IT'S MY BLOODY PAGE!!! Bwahahahahaha

The Princess thinks she needs some rest...
posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:17 PM Comments []

Sunday, May 19, 2002

Hmmm... still working on sorting things out. I'm sure it's easier than it seems, but I'm hungry, an en thinkin too straight.

Random thought of the day: Why are some countries still so obssessed with 'differentness'? I'm living in Madrid, Spain for the year, a so-called 'developped' (I abhor that word) country, and I feel so aware of being a) female, and b)Black. I even shame to go doctors cuz they look at me so funny. I went pharmacy to ask for cough medicine a time back, and the woman look at me like she thought I was gonna go snort it. Damn. Can a girl get some cough medicine without prollems???

Besides, 'different' is merely a social construct. I'm only different to what this society has accepted as normal, and normal means nothing to me. It's a BS word to help people relax and feel part of the group, i.e not left out and buddyless.Think about it, we're all so different anyway, it just makes things so much more fun! I like being different. I can always go out and rest assured that no one else in this country will look like me. Oh the power!

The Princess must get some work done so she can pass her exams (in spanish no less, how abnormal!) as is but only normal to do, and therby join the normal workforce and make a decent living as is the normal thing for a normal 20 year old university student to strive for.

Normal sucks.
posted by Tanisha Cross at 2:41 PM Comments []

Finally looks like the Blog business is working. So NOW i may commence my ramblings.

First tho I need to sort out some stuff on this page, cuz I'm not diggin'....
posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:50 PM Comments []

Saturday, May 18, 2002

So this is what blogging is about. I can say whatever the hell I please? Anything? I may scare a few unsuspecting folk out there... But hey, this is a brilliant idea. People (some who call themselves my friends even) admit to tuning me out at times and not listening to me. Oh right. That's nice, ain't it? So the Princess has decided she will blab on and on about all those incoherent thoughts running through her head right HERE. Ready?

I don't know....

The Princess has retired to her quarters for some pondering.
posted by Tanisha Cross at 12:23 AM Comments []