Tuesday, July 30, 2002

One must creep before one can walk. Such were the words of a wise old friend/advisor-to-the-throne. Hmm said I. That's precisely my problem. I have tried walking before I knew how, and fell flat on my face. Now that I'm tryin to learn how, everybody walking! Or trying to. Does this make sense?!?

Funny, cuz simbolic as all that is, that's precisely what happened to me when I was about 7 or so while living in Switzerland. Swore blind I could ride a bicycle without training wheels, so I made Daddy remove them long before I was ready. For a week or so I did just fine, managing to balance by swaying the bike from side to side. Well, one day I swayed a bit too dangerously and there was the brick ground rushing up to greet me. Then there was a woman screaming... then I was in my apartment... then I was seeing blood everywhere... then I was back home from hospital (don't remember going there AT ALL) drinking my dinner out of a straw because I had completely f***ed my face. I broke one front tooth into my lip and split the other in half (I en know HOW), and had a million stiches and all kinda ting. My adult teeth grew back seemingly fine until last year when dentist was like, erm, you bump your tooth? No, why? Cuz the nerves are dead and you're going to have an abssess (whatever the hell that is). So I have had to pay a frikkin lot to have it removed, and an implant and a crown. nice, huh? I still have the stiches from the implant which, by the way, hurt like a bitch.

Moral of story: always creep before you walk. Don't remove those training wheels until you're ready.

*The Princess has spoken*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 10:24 PM Comments []

So I won't be dancing in the tent tonight then. Gillo has decided he will use his original 3 Proper Pork girls. Guess my pork isn't proper enough for him... I'm kinda disappointed because I really want the performing to calypso scandalous-style practice. It's good for my dance career! If ever it turns into that... *sigh*

Everything happens for a reason. I need to remember that.

I need to not start feeling sad again. You know when you just don't feel appreciated enough? Like if there was just something you could do to prove yourself... But if I feel I need to prove myself, then maybe it isn't worth it after all...?

I'm not necessarily talking about my dancing here. Nor my love life, family life, social life... I'm just being random and general. I'm at work, and it's cold as rangate. I guess I'm kinda bored. O well.

*The Princess must return to her duties*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 5:53 PM Comments []

I am exhausted. Been rehearsing all last week like a madwoman for East Coast. And still manage to get my behind to Baje on Friday. Which I prolly shouldn't have done, cuz that mash me up. Baje was very interesting. I learned some things man. About myself and others around me. I couldn't believe the amount of posing that was going on tho! What is up with going to a band fete and stylin an posin. Whatever happened to dancing yourself silly?!? I wanted to do just that, but my body was not pleased about it, so I wouldn't have been able to keep up anyway. But still, that whole leme just style right here an watch everyone else an what they're wearing KILLS the atmosphere. So all in all it wasn't a most brilliant night. I had a blast tho, runnning up and down, wuk up here, wuk up there (I think I've found my wuk-upery again)

East Coast now, after all the mega-stress of running around after artists who don't even wanna pay you properly, I was BLAM. And the Mr. Gillo playing he showin us little scraps of silver fabric that we're supposedly going to dance in. I was like WHAT? The flimsy thing could barely cover both breasts standing still - when I stepped, flop, everthin fell out. And not to mention the ass-covering. I was like, erm, yeah doh. I will not have this thing all up in my stuff when we dancing. Shoot. I was not impressed. AS a result of feeling uncomfortable in the piece of crap, I didn't think my performance went well at all. I know I can do sooo much better. I wasn't Mrs. Woodvine's Best Jazz dancer silver medal winner of 1999 for no reason! Dammit!I received some active criticism today that I practically had to beg for. I hate it when people avoid a question or don't tell you exactly what they think for fear of being the one who said something bad. I react very well to criticism, I get mad, and that makes me move my ass. So when I was told that my moves are too small I was like WHAT?!? Nah doh. You waan see big?!? I'll give you big. Dammit. Maybe it's been a while since I've been dancing professionally, but it's there somewhere... Watch out.

Here I come Virgin Atlantic tent, Glow and Cohobblopot!

*The Princess shakes her booty*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 2:33 AM Comments []