Friday, July 26, 2002

Another thing I realise: I am so incredibly selfish sometimes. I want it all I want it all now about sums it up. Why is that? Maybe because I've never had it like that, and since in past experiences I have not had it all and been unbelieveably unhappy I figure happiness comes from having lo todo. All in my subconscious of course. Man I've got issues to deal with.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not spoilt: I believe in give and take. You scratch my back, I scratch your back. But my back is just never scratched quite enough...

*The Princess still looking for crowbar and a therapist*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:30 AM Comments []

The Princess is now faced with a new challenge. How to get what you want. My major problem lately has been tryin to decide what I want out of certain areas of my life and being totally unable to figure it out. But I have learned something tonight. Not necessarily something new and Earth-shattering, but something I normally just dismiss.

When you can't proceed because you don't know exactly what you're striving for, LET GO of what's holding you back, the things you don't want/need. Why can't I just let go? I'm holding on for dear life without realising that life goes on without what I'm holding on to.

*The Princess looks for a crowbar*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 4:20 AM Comments []

Monday, July 22, 2002

I must be getting old man. Wet Fete took a lot outta me den! I didn't even dance so much, cuz it took so long to get back that wuk up vibe back. I swore for a minute I'd forgotten how to do it. I was fairly scared. It was interesting though. Cindi bought my ticket as a birthday present, so I didn't actually spend very much money. Saw nuff people I recognised, but whose names I couldn't remember (old age?). There was nuff dibbiness. That was also fairly scary... all the thongs and boobs hanging out and razor bumps and cellulite an stretch marks. I mean, be proud of yourselves people, take pride in what was given you, but we just don't need to see it ALL. If you know what I mean. I know my own cuerpo is far from perfect, but well, perfect is boring. Being with a perfect bodied one is like being with a toy rather than a human being. You need folds and softness to complement the hard leaness. Or however you prefer it. Whatever rocks one's boat.

Wukkin up just isn't the same without a significant other. Especially if you've been out of the groove for a looong time. Someone nice and special to get you back on track. *sigh* I was either on my own, or with some sweaty dude who was my friends' friend but I had no clue about cuz I just needed to remember what it's like dancing in this fashion.... It's quite funny that we willingly grind on each other in very suggestive manners with people who will not care about what's your name, where are you from, can I get your digits? I was just rubbin my stuff against your ass, but u know, whatever! See ya later. Or not. Whatever. Where's my special someone?!? Real real far from me... Leme stop right there....

Anyway, I am now completely shattered. Imagine. What's gonna happen next weekend? I better gets a movin an do some stamina-enhancing-type workout. Fuh real.

*The Princess is off to her quarters. Alone...*
posted by Tanisha Cross at 3:15 AM Comments []